The Best Question Ever.

'Mom, is a scorpion worse than a Nazi?'

I found another scorpion in the sink this morning, and the kids were awake this time, so I showed it to them. (By the way, as opposed to the last scorpion, who was nicely sitting in plain view on the inside edge of the totally empty sink, this one was hiding in a rag, on the side of a full sink of dirty dishes, and I didn't see him until I had already finished cleaning all the dishes what were 0-4 inches from said scorpion. Hmph.) We also killed a very large one on the side of the house yesterday evening. If you ask the kids how to kill a scorpion, they will say, 'Go find mom, and mom will whop him with a shoe.' This answer is not only 100% true, it is really funny to hear from my kids.

Sam asked me the above question after viewing this morning's visitor, after we had washed him down the disposal. My brilliant, pre-coffee answer? 'No, Sam, there is almost nothing worse than a Nazi.'

On a totally different note, tomorrow is Memorial Day.

Thank you to all the men and women who have served our amazing country, and continue to do so. We pray for our active members every day.

In Katy, again

So, since I'm totally like the Best Daughter Ever, I am back in Katy. Dad's job, with him working 10pm-6am, ends this weekend, and BP asked Mom to fly out to the rig they just launched for a few days. John is working the whole time Mom asked me to visit, and we didn't have any other pressing plans, so here we are!

I don't know if my hormones are kicking in overtime right now, but I have been in a haze of the Warm & Fuzzies for the last few days! My kids are still the trouble making, headache-inducing, room-destroying, toy- and tool-breaking, screaming, fighting, high energy children that they have always been, but I just want to dip them in fish batter, fry them up, and just start at the toes and nibble my way up!!! They are so cute and sweet and destructive and affectionate, and I love them so much!! Almost as much as I love John, but really, not much can compare to that. Even a craving for fried baby toes. Oh, and about the long sentence above, where they do everything in their power to make me tired with the Never-Ending source of energy that comes from who knows where, I wouldn't have them any other way!!!

Who wants boring kids, when you can have kids that seek out knowledge like it's water? They are really into fish right now. All things fish and ocean. Evie's fav fish is either a cookie cutter shark or her little blennys that she loves. Sam my Man is all about the angler fish, especially the potato-faced angler fish. And since meeting and getting to know the Bird Lady next door, we have been learning about and developing a big interest in birds, and learning what kinds live near us. It's been a ton of fun.

And I'm rambling, and have nothing specific to talk about, so I'm going to go to WalMart and then make some fantastic supper, cause that's also what I do, besides chasing my children around and playing in the sprinkler outside. :) I'll be home Thursday, and I really will try to put some new pics up, I promise!

Confused In Katy

Now, I'm not naming any names, especially my mom's, but who has 5 different kinds of bbq sauce in their pantry, but no peanut butter??? I mean, honestly now. ... Um, I mean, not that there's anything wrong with that, I guess ...

I took the kids to Dad's yesterday, and we had a great time! It was so good to see him, and the kids got to pick dewberries and have cookies and milk and shoot a bow and arrow, so it was a good day in their book.

Sarah rocks, and I was so glad that I got to see her for more than 5.92 seconds yesterday. :)

Mom, she of the non-peanut butter household, is on her way home, and we're staying a few hours later than expected to let the kids see her. Woohoo!

New pictures coming soon.

Yea Pat!!!

John's aunt, Pat Berryman, just won the election for the open seat in the Georgetown City Council. Woohoo! Kids and I went up for the post-election party, and I just got home (after 11pm), and I'm exhausted, and about to pass out. But Pat, congrats!!

Leaving for Katy tomorrow afternoon, but I'll try to post about the fun visitor I had in my sink this morning. And by 'fun,' I mean 'eww.'

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there who have ever let their children have cupcakes and iced tea against their better judgement, and then totally regreted it around midnight when the three-year-old is not asleep and wants to 'hang out' with you and 'chat about Star Wars' for a while. Seriously. He's not asleep. When I say no to chatting about Star Wars, he asks me if we can talk about the scorpion fish or the reef cuttlefish that we saw in the fish movie.

I want a beer.

someone hide me, quick!!

Oh. My. Gaw. John is going to flip out when he gets home. Sam has cut Evie's hair. At the moment, she looks like she has a mullet. Help me, I am going to die. It's not like I left them alone for that long. I was knitting this morning, and left the scissors out, and then I came upstairs while the kids were watching Maisy to put away some clothes, and while I was up here I heard, 'I think scissors are fun,' and the other one said, 'Me, too,' and I don't even know which one said what, but I did see my life flash before my eyes, because John is so in love with Evie's hair, and has been so happy that we can finally do things with it, because her hair grows at a record-slow pace ...

Please help me. Hide me somehwere. I'm going to have to give her a precious little pixie cut, but her beautiful curls will be gone, and John is going to flip.

Pics of the progress, and possibly my execution, tomorrow.

(Edited to add:)

Evie with her homemade mullet:

Evie after her haircut:

Sam 'protecting' Evie, both with fake smiles:

And John wasn't even all that mad at me, either. Yea!!!

I've decided that knitting is not quite as stoopid as I first thought it was. I also decided to be patient and actually figure out what I'm doing before quitting. So there. I've been having fn with it.

Sam is fine. We went to the doc yet again on Tuesday, and what did they tell us? 'Sometimes kids just have big tonsils.' Well, ok then. I also had my first acutal checkup with my midwife, Laurie. I just love her!!! I got to hear Baby's heartbeat, which is so cool, and Laurie said everything looked good. Woohoo!

I dropped the guineas off at Bastrop Gardens on Monday, a nursery and farmer's market towards Austin that we love. These people have had guineas before, and already had housing for them, so if the Stooges had to go, I am so glad that they went there. And, as it turns out, my next door neighbor works there! Not the ones that I hate with a fiery passion that burns brighter than a thousand suns, but the one on the other side. We've been calling her the Crazy Bird Lady, or just the Bird Lady. I learned that her name is Linda, but that a lot of people call her Bird Lady. Anyway, she's super nice. She is crazy, but in a good, passionate-about-what-she-believes, isn't-afraid-to-speak-her-mind kind of way. The kids and I just went over there to say hello to her and her goose (gander, actually) Snow. He's a really nice goose, and didn't try to bite my children once! She's got about 10 acres, so I told her to let us know first if she is ever inclined to get rid of any of it, cause we'd LOVE to see if we could buy it. I'm very glad that I met her, and that we could go see her and meet Snow. Oh, and she said that the guineas are doing very well, and like their new home.

I'm going to Katy early, on Sunday afternoon, so I can hang out with the mom for a while, and cook her supper. Kevin, Wes, Al?, "John"?, Mom, the kids and I will be there. I'm looking forward to it. And I get to see my most wonderful MOLLY!!!! YEA!!!!

My tomato plants are attempting to take over my entire yard. Ok, not really, but they are getting HUGE!! We planted them a little too close together, and they're over 4 and a half feet tall; you would not believe the number of (all still green) tomatoes we have!! And my pumpkin plants have gone crazy, too. We've got a ton of squash blossoms, and the green bean plants are starting to put off green beans. It's all very fun. The kids helped me weed in there today. We got a couple of new things for the flower garden last week. Some daisys, dianthus, a new kind of verbeena, yellow lantana, and some petunas. It looks pretty now, but it's going to look wonderful once everything fills in.

Hehehe, Baby is kicking me. :)

I need a nap. Or lunch. Or maybe lunch and then a nap. Yes, yes, it is a hard life that I lead.

To Sarah

You are one of my closest friends, and I love you so very much. Even if we do talk to each other's voicemail more often than we actually talk to each other.

So, CONGRATUALTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the one where the world is conspiring ...

to give me gray hair before I even turn 25.

Ok, I've been busy. Here is why I haven't posted lately.

Took Sam to the doc 2 Mondays ago. They did a test for strep and flu, but both were negative. He did have a sinus infection and sinusitis, though. So he went on 10 days of amoxocillin, the $58 antibiotic. That sound was me, falling over from the price.

The following Monday, Evie started running a fever, and I looked at Sam's throat, and it wasn't really getting any better. Then Tuesday, I noticed that Sam's throat had white spots on it. WHITE SPOTS developing while on antibiotics??? Oy. Even I know that's not good. So we went back to the doc on Thursday, and it turned out that both kids had strep throat! Doc just looked at me and said, 'Brea, how did he get strep while he was on antibiotics?' Yeah, like I have an answer for that.

So we went on new antibiotics for both of them (another $160, thank you very much! Do I look like I'm made of money??? Cause I'm not!!). All is going well, until Saturday morning, when I look at my dear daughter, and she has white all over her mouth. She decided that the fun thing to do was to drink her medicine. Yes, I am a bad mother, and didn't close the medicine all the way. I'M SORRY!!!!!

I go to call Poison Control. I have the national 800 number memorized, because it's on stickers all over the house, and because this is the fourth time I have had to call them. Of all things, my cell phone is not working. I have no idea why. It's all better now. I grab my home phone, which (miracle of all miracles!!) was working, and call the 800 number. Well, Vonage has decided for reasons beyone my comprehension that Poison Control is not a number they choose to recognize. I boot up the computer, which takes like 3 hours, and find the number for the Control center in San Antonio. A very nice young man answers the phone, and we go through the whole experience, and he tells me that there may be a few side effects (there were none), but that she should be fine (which she is). Then he asks me where I'm calling from. I say, 'Just outside of Austin.' He says, 'Texas?' I say, 'Yeah, where are you? You don't sound like you're from this area.' He says, 'No, I'm in New Jersey.' Hmm. Interesting. I call a (210) area code, which is San Antonio, and end up chatting with a guy from New Jersey. But still, he was very nice.

Things were oddly quiet around here until this last Tuesday. John and the kids had gone out for a while, and I suddenly hear shots next door. This is not all together unusual, beacuse everyone around here has guns, but this was just a tad too close. As I'm walking outside to see what's going on, La Stooges come running over. Jim the Asshole (JTA for short, from now on) is standing on his porch, sees me come out, and yells, 'Brea, if you don't get rid of those damn birds, I'm going to f-ing kill them.' He didn't actually say 'f-ing.' I think you know what he really said. Turns out that the guineas had been walking through his garden and stepped on some of his plants. I hope wild hogs come and uproot the whole damn thing.

A small side note here. We checked with the Smiths several times before getting the guineas. We have checked with them several times since we got the guineas to make sure the guineas were not bothering them. Our houses are like 50 feet apart from each other. We see and talk to each other pretty much every day. Must we find out that they don't like the birds by hearing gunshots?!?!?!?!?!?!? Also, there is something not right about JTA. What kind of person lives with their parents their whole life? He is in his mid-40's, and has never lived alone. This is not something I'm speculating about; I know he has never lived alone cause Mommy-dearest told me so. Even when he was married, they all lived with his parents. And his mom, Gretta, is the one who raised his daughter. Seriously, what the hell??

I had to find a new home for the guineas, and I did find a very good one, and we all have been completely bummed all week. And mad. Vey, very mad. We'll be putting up a fence this winter, just along the property line between our houses, and getting new guineas next spring. I drop them off at their new home tomorrow.

So, for those of you who think I have dropped off the radar, I have not. I have been too busy to find the radar. And on top of it all, I'm trying to grow a person inside my belly, take care of me family, house, gardens, and yard (seriously, you don't even what to see the amound of dirty laundry that is about to grow legs and take over and eat us all. I might let it, too!).

Sam's tonsils are still really swollen, and seeing how today was the last day of the second round of medicine, I think we may have to go back to the doc. This is killing me. I am so beyond ready for everyone in my house to be well. I need chocolate milk. Oh, pictures.

My brother Wesley (far right) at the 8th grade dance.

Sam (just before we cut his hair) and Evie with a blue belly lizard.

My funny formal daughter, who loves old hats and all things girly.

Sam passed out on the couch when he was sick.

Evie passed out in bed when she was sick.

Oh, and I mention that we bought a piano? Cause I didn't think we had enough going on at the time, and wanted to add a little excitement to my boring life.

I'll be in Katy next Monday-Wednesday (the days after Mother's Day), so call me if anyone wants to do lunch or (decaf) coffee!!

here comes 6 months of ...

... uncomfortable sleep!!!!! Oh no!!! I am starting to have a hard time sleeping on my belly without feeling guilty. Ok, I'm not feeling guilty, it's just becoming impossible to sleep like that. I'm not really showing yet; I'm able to wear all my 'regular' clothes. But I HATE sleeping on my back or my side. Blah. Other than that, I'm feeling awesome! Out of the first trimester, not sick anymore, and I have a desire for food once again. Lots and lots of food. Mmmmm ... cake ...

My kids have discovered Mary Poppins and The Sound of Music, two of my favorite movies when I was growing up. I found the old copies at my mom's house the last time I was in town. Here's the great part: they were both recorded off Tv, commercials and all. From 1987!!!!! It's awesome!!! Remember those little dancing chicken nuggets from McDonalds?? I love it!! There's previews for Moonlighting, Growing Pains, and other really funny stuff. (And, as it turns out, my childhood crush on Capt. Von Trapp is alive and well. How embarassing. We will never speak of this again.)

Knitting is stoopid. Only people who are losers knit. Ok, ok, that's not true. As you may have guessed, I am trying to learn how to knit in my ongoing quest to become The Perfect Homemaker. I just started yesterday. When I first sat down, I soooo almost pulled an Evelyn, which would be sitting, holding the object that is frustrating me, and screaming and shaking. So I have now somewhat figured out how to start a knitted item. I don't think I'm getting any better at it. On the upside, though, I don't think I'm getting any worse, either, so I guess that's something. I have no patience. Stoopid yarn.

Maybe you've heard, Austin has been getting some horriffic storms the last few days. Parts of South Austin had 2-3-inch hail two or three days in a row; and other aread of the Hill Country have been the same. How are we, you ask? Oh, great! It rained for about 5 minutes yesterday. I mean, don't get me wrong. I am incredibly thankful that we didn't get any of the severe weather. I really am. But couldn't we have had a little bit more rain than that?!?!? Eh. At least we didn't have any vehicle damage. Man, thought, do we need rain ...

Oh, took Sam to the doc the other day, and the verdict? Sinusitis. The doc had me look in his throat, and I almost started crying!! I don't know how in the world he has been breathing, let alone swallowing anything! My poor baby. So he's on antibiotics, and doing 110% better.

Did someone just say baked potatoes? No? Eh, that's ok. I think I'll go make one anyway ...
Lots more pics coming soon ...

Clarifications and Confessions

I am not depressed. I am somewhat anti-social, incredibly busy, and pregnant. Since Thanksgiving, I ...
-packed up an apartment filled with a whole lot of crap,
-arranged for everything to be done in our new house because it was a really busy time for John at work,
-closed on a house,
-painted most of the interior of our house,
-MOVED,
-frantically unpacked in order to have guests over for Chirstmas,
-had a pretty big Christmas bash as said freshly-painted house,
-driven to Katy 4 times,
-had lots and lots of people over, to visit and to stay the night (which I love, please don't think I don't!!)
-had another big family thing the week after New Year's,
-got pregnant,
-been morning sick,
-have driven into Austin, which is an hour away, at least once a week, usually twice,
-have tried to take lots of naps
-have been taking care of my family, because at least one person has been sick almost every day of the last two months
-planted a butterfly garden
-planted a real garden, with tomatoes, garlic, strawberries, okra, squash, wax beans, sugar pumpkins, watermellons, cantelopes, and peppers. And I had to dig out a new space for those last four things, outside the existing garden,
-bought and raised guineas, and helped to build them a large cage, then a coop
-tried to figure out my way around a new town,
-am trying to find a new doctor or midwife for said pregnancy,
-have attempted to keep my house clean, keep the family fed (on a budget), and keep clean clothes avaliable.

So, I have not had time for multiple nagging questions asked over and over about the same subject, which does nothing but piss me off under regular circumstances.

I am intensely private, and unless I'm freaking out (see post from March 6) I am not likely to share all that much with people. I am not obsessive abuot keeping secrets, I just don't always offer much.

I am one of the most shy people you will ever meet; I just fake it around strangers, but I'm usually freaking out on the inside. We had a couple over for supper last week, someone John works with. I had talked to the wife several times on the phone, but ended up so nervous that I bit all my (awesome) nails down to the skin the day they came over. Some of the sweetest people I have ever met, but I was a wreck before they came over.

I am also one of the most self concious people I've ever know. I flip out about my apperance, not that I have to be perfect, but I worry that it's not good enough. I hate going out with the Girls, because I always feel like I look like crap, no matter how I'm dressed or what I look like. I am, however, secure about my parenting, and hate questions that start with, 'Don't you think ...?' No, I don't. If I did think whatever said question was about, I wouldn't be doing whatever I am doing. I have the support (and sometimes direction) of my husbad 100% of the time, and he is the only person whose opinion I want or care about.

I am the meanest Mama Bear you will ever meet. The quickest way to make me frighteningly upset is to mess with my family, or to comment about my marriage. Leave it alone and don't ask mean and/or hateful questions if you want a relationship with me.

I am a tad cranky today, but that has more to do with the fact that Sam has been running a fever for four days, and has been sleeping on the floor by my bed the last three nights and waking up at least three times every night, so I haven't been sleeping that well. I also have been avoiding the phone more and more, and we answer the phone, regardless of who it is, almost never. So no, I am not depressed, I am just very, very busy and somewhat disinterested. John and I joke that we have become even more anti-social since we moved out here, but neither of us (or the kids) have ever been more happy, or more content.

poob

The guineas poo. A lot. I had no idea that three birds could produce that much waste. They used to do nothing but hang out on the porch, so you really, really had to watch your step anytine you walked out the front door. We had to hose it off every few days. Now, though, the guineas like to roam around. They like the deck, the yard, they follow us down the trail into the jungle, and they love to hang out at Gretta's house next door when they can't find us. They are truly social creatures.

But back to the poo. Here's one of the greatest things I've heard in a long time: 'POOB!!' That's right, poob. Not poop. The kids, especially Sam, say 'poob.' It's a funny word, in and of itself, but it is a very funny word when you hear a three-year-old yelling it at the top of his lungs. Evie does it sometimes, but it's much more funny coming from Sam. 'MOOOM, THE GUINEA POOBED!!' or 'DAAAD, there's POOB on the deck!!!!!' Gretta thinks it is funny that our children feel the need to tell us anytime a guinea poobs. However, she raised six kids and is about a million years old and gives me wonderful advice on pretty much everything under the sun and she know everything about all plants, ever, so she is allowed to be amused by this.

I am not amused. 'Poob' and the poob alerts got old after the first week. I can't wait until we get the damn coop built.

A quick side note: The Fabulous Book Club met last night, and I had the best time! I love everyone in that club, especially Melanie and Kim, and even Angry Mom. Who doesn't love talking about English prostitution from the 1700's and 1800's, and cholera, and The Trump's hair??? I mean, seriously!!!

More on my opinion's about that man's hair at a later date.

things that are very cute.

Today's subject will be Little Miss Evelyn. Evie, to most of you. She is very cute, and sometimes I think that, one day when John gets home, he's going to say to me, 'Ok, I see Sam, but where's Evie?' And I'm going to have to explain to him that she was just too durned cute, and I ate her all up. I just want to bite her cheeks sometimes!!! Sometimes, I bite her belly. Because it is big. And cute, like her.

A few nights ago, I took a quick shower before supper after John got home. I mean, quick. I put supper in the oven and had just enough time to wash off, throw some clothes on, and run back downstairs. I hadn't even had time to comb my hair yet, so it was wrapped up in a towel. Evie came back inside as I was pulling the dish out of the oven, and stood on her stool to help me make the salad and the veggies. All of a sudden she stopped, looked at my head, and you could just see the wheels turning. Then she put her hand on my arm, very gently, and said in the most wonderful voice, 'You look just like Nanno, sweetie!' And promptly went back to work washing green beans.

I had to work on not falling over with laughter right in front of her. For those of you who may not know, Nanno is my mom, and she walks around with a towel on her head when she gets out of the shower. I never do this, plus I always shower around 5:45, before Evie is up. Evie has seen my mom like this several times, and was able to put it all together that fast. Yes, that's right. I have the smartest kid ever.

And she called me 'sweetie'!!! I should probably correct that, but it was CUTE!!! She asked John if she could please have some more milk the other night at supper. When he handed it to her, she said, 'Thanks, sweetie!' without even looking at him!!! AWWW!!!! (And I got a very strange look from John that said, 'What have you done to my daughter?' 'Well, good sir, I ate her. That's what. She was cute, and I gobbled her up.')

So, pictures of cute.

The Cute Cleaning Evie

The Cute 'No, I'm Not On The Hood Of The Jeep And
You Can't Prove A Thing' Evie

The Cute, Double-Dipping, Librarian, In Her PJ Shirt At Noon Evie

But of course, who could forget her wonderful partner in crime, Sam-I-Am? If you call him cute, he will tell you that he is handsome, so watch out for that one. He is so wonderful, and he has the best sense of humor, too! And he's probably the best guinea catcher in the family. Sometimes, he throws things at Evie, and she cries, and when he hears me coming, he says in a very loud voice, 'Evie, what's wrong? Are you ok? What happened?' Yeah, try and tell me he's not the oldest ...

The Handsome, Yet Lazy, Muscle Man Sam

The Handsome PB&J-eating Sam

<big sigh>

I have such a hard life. :)

I am so crazy about the three of them!!! I heart John, Sam, and Evie!!

Things That Happen When You Try To Teach Yourself To Juggle

When I was much younger, I was able to do a very, very limited bit of juggling. As in, I could start out with three balls in my hands, each ball could be in the air, and I could catch them without a single one touching the ground. Just one rotation, but it was still cool. So today, I was walking to the trashcan with three oranges in my hands. They were most decidedly past their prime, and more than a little squishy. All of a sudden, I had this thought: 'If I could juggle, my kids would absolutely worship the ground I walk on, and more importantly, it would surprise the crap out of John, and I very rarely have the ability to do that. I am going to teach myself how to juggle!!'

About five minutes and 9000 failed attempts to juggle more than one rotation, the orange remains were in the trash, and I was cleaning up a good deal of orange innards off my floor. So, what does happen when you try to teach yourself how to juggle, you ask? A very big mess. I'm just glad I didn't get this bit of inspiration while I was holding eggs. Eww.

Welcome to Texas, ladies and gentlemen. I was in short sleeves on Christmas and New Year's Day, but seeing how last night was the second night of spring, it was in the mid-30's here. Eh???????

We are planting a butterfly garden!!! It is going to be so very cool. We prepped the area yesterday, all around the pond and 'river,' and bought some of the plants today. I'll put some pics up tomorrow when we get everything planted. We have found a couple of very cool indie nurseries in this area, and have been very pleased with their prices, so far. And one of them keeps a flock of guineas for bug control, which made me laugh. I loved it!! Oh, those crazy hippies ...

I have reached the conclusion that I enjoy dancing to bad music. And 80's music. But most of all, I love dancing to bad 80's music. The songs I danced to yesterday and today in my kitchen while backing about a zillion different things:
White Wedding, by Billy Idol
Wild Thing, but not the one by the Troggs, the really dirty one
several different songs by Bon Jovi (ok, confession? I totally have a thing for Bon Jovi)
Magic Carpet Ride, by Steppenwolf
1999, by Prince
I Love Rock and Roll, by Joan Jett
the Joker, by the Steve Miller Band
I Will Survive, by Gloria Gainer
lots and lots of the Clash (love the CDs I have!!)
and last (but not at all least) Friends in Low Places, by Garth Brooks.

And there were ever so many others, but those are the only ones I could think of. I love to dance. But not if anyone else is around. John walked in and caught me dancing to Baby Got Back the other morning (seriously, I thought he was still out in the Jungle with the chainsaw and I had the radio up really loud so I didn't hear him come in the house) and I almost DIED of embarassment!!! So, let's just keep this dancing obsession between us, ok, and not let my secret out?? Thanks.

One of the managers John works with just had a baby; well, his wife did, and on John's request I made the mom a 'happy' basket today. It had Healthy Cookies, Whole Wheat Banana Bread, two kinds of tea that are really good for nursing moms, a cute tin for the tea, Burt's Bees lotion (I LOVE that stuff!!), a few little baby toys like ones that my kids loved, and I think John was going to pick up some flowers on the way to work. I have so much fun doing stuff like that! All the things had my little angel stamp on them, and I wrote her a note, too. And, I made a giant batch of banana bread, so I have lots of that leftover for us to have for breakfast the next few mornings. Woohoo!!

On that note, I'm missing Law and Order right now (and my house is in decent shape and my kitchen is clean, so I can watch guilt-free), so I'm off to go see whodunnit! New pics in the next few days.

Oh, and let's not forget something very, very important:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SCOTT!!!!!

the one where I cough. a lot.

Well, I seem to have caught Sam's coughing cold. Woooohoooo!!! Not really. I felt awful yesterday, but am feeling surprisingly human today. Yea for me. Cough.

Wes went home on Wednesday, and we were so glad to have him! Here's a picture of him with (a very dirty and always-bruised) Evelyn.

They're watching Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit. By the way, if you have not seen this movie, you must go out and rent it today. It is one of the funniest movies I've ever seen, animated or not.

The other morning, when the kids were at Mom's, John and I woke up to find a snake on our porch. It was a little thing, and it had a few little flesh wounds. We're thinking it was a gift from the cats. Anyway, since guineas are supposed to just absolutely hate snakes (that's one of the many reasons we got them), we thought it would be a good time to introduce the Stooges to the snake. It was just a rat snake, by the way, so we weren't worried about the snake biting them.


Now don't get me wrong; I love the Stooges to death. I think they are very funny, and would be sad if anything ever happened to them. However, they are stupid. And I don't just mean stupid. I mean, they are STOOPID!!!! It took them about 5 minutes just to notice the snake, after I'd picked it up and placed it in front of them several times. I put it on top of Curly, just they just couldn't be bothered with it. It finally died about an hour later. Then, about 30 minutes after that, La Stooges realized that there is a snake on the porch, and we do not like snakes, and we should attack the crap out of it en masse and kill it several times over, and then try to eat it, but wait we do not actually eat snakes so we'll just go ahead and put it on John's shoes.

Here's a nice feeling: We finished with supper around 7, about half an hour ago, and John and the kids cleaned the kitchen for me because I'm still not feeling 100% (that, and the kitchen was mostly clean to begin with). I put a load of clothes in the washer, and came up here. I can now hear the Beatles playing downstairs, and Evie is dancing. John and Sam were dancing also, but then realized that Billy is on the prowl, so Evie is dancing alone, and the boys are lying in wait to try and scare the stripes off Billy. The house smells good, there's good music going, we've got fun stuff planned for tomorrow, and everyone is happy right now. It's just a very happy and content feeling.

Wait, you say. Who is Billy? Well, I'll tell you. Billy is our very fat raccoon that hangs out in this area and eats the outside cat food if we forget to put the brick on the trashcan lid.

So, I'll leave you with this. Please let me preface this by saying that the book Back to Eden has been a huge blessing to me in many ways, and I agree with about 95% of everything in the book. It's an old one, written originally in 1939, though it has been updated every so often. I was reading the Pregnancy section the other day, and here is what I learned.

Mental Attitude: If you want a cheerful, happy child with a sunny disposition, that is just how you will have to be during your pregnancy. Special effort should be made by the mother to avoid as much unpleasantness as possible. A fit of anger, great fright, or novel reading will have a very bad effect on the child. The surroundings should be made as pleasant as possible, and it is positively the husband's duty to bring this about, as far as it lies in his power. By proper living, care, and treatment, pain can be almost entirely banished at childbirth.

Seriously.

Busy, busy, busy

My mom watched the kids last weekend. Woohoo!!!!!! I took them in on Thursday, stayed Thursday night (and got to have tea with the ever-wonderful, ever-beautiful MOLLY!!!), and drove home Friday. It was awesome!! John and I had a very late breakfast on the porch at 8:45 Saturday and Sunday morning, and went to lunch Saturday. We also got the garden planted on Saturday, which is wonderful, because that's really been weighing on my mind. We've planted 27 garlic sprouts, 10 tomato plants (4 different kinds), 5 strawberry plants, and spearmint and lavender. Peppermint goes in later this week, along with squash and bell peppers. I really wish I could have a whole huge mess of green beans, but I don't think it's going to happen this year. I think I alerady have enough on my plate ... pun intended! But I digress.

I met Mom in La Grange Sunday evening, and picked up Sam, Evie, and Wesley! Wes is going back tonight, and it has been so wonderful to have him. I'm sure he's been bored, because if you're not used to being out here, it can seem a little slow, but I've had a great time with him. I took him to the Green Chi Cafe (can't find the actual website) this morning, and he really liked it. I luuuv the owner, Matt, because he's super friendly and makes great food. And he talks foor with me when I go in. The kids always say hi to him, too. Then we drove into Austin and went to Boggy Creek Farmers' Market and Whole Foods. We had a great time. I'll meet my mom in Colombus this evening, after John gets home, to drop off the kids. And I think I'm going to be completely wild and crazy and get some of those curly fries from Dairy Queen. Mmmmm, curly fries ...

Poor Sam!!! He is sick again! I don't think he ever completely recovered from last week's cold, and then caught another one. He has the worst cough. He's been drinking my cough tea a lot, which he likes and seems to help him, and taking my homemade cough medicine, too. But he still sounds awful. However, as of this morning, he seems to be a little better. So hopefully I won't have to take him to the doctor. I am really, really not crazy about doctors. I have an extreme distrust for pretty much all of them, to one extent or another. I do believe that God gave great men some great minds, and that many people would not be alove today if it were not for modern medicine. However, I think that we have abused the natural wisdom that God gave us, and over the last hundred years or so, have neglected the naural things that work to help our bodies recover on their own. Just my $.02.

The kids are up, and I need to call John and convince him to bring home some fajitas this afternoon. I mean, they're for Baby. Baby wants beef fajitas with extra cheese. Who am I to deny Baby what (s)he wants? Seriously.

Happy Birthday, Nanny!!!!!!

the one where I cried

It wasn't a great morning at my house. It started with Sam screaming for 45 minutes right after he woke up. I was trying to get all my herbs priced, so I could order them this afternoon, which is kind of a chore; I get herbs from about 4 different places. He woke up around 7:45, and I told him it wasn't quite time to get up yet. He knows exactly what that means, and normally has no problem, because he's allowed to turn on his light and play quitely until 8. Not so much this morning. He said, 'No, I don't have to.' I told him that he needed to stay in his room, and that's when the screaming started. And didn't stop until after 8:30. Not the geratest start to a day that I can think of.

Then Evie locked herself in the bathroom about 5 minutes later. She likes to turn the little button that locks the door, but then she shuts the door, while she is inside. And can't figure out how to turn the button back. It was after 9 before I got her out. The rescue effort involved a coat hanger, 2 screwdrivers, removing the doorknob, and some more using of the screwdriver. It was awesome. (That was sarcasm, by the way.)

By the time I had the kids' breakfast on the table, I was sobbing. I went into my room, cried for a while, almost strangled my cat when it clawed me, finally calmed down, washed my face, and came out and called my incredibly wise aunt, Rebecca. I love her. She was wonderful, reminded me that I am pregnant, have been sick (I'm feeling much, much better, by the way), and that I really would regret it tomorrow if I gave the kids away today.

After breakfast, I decided that no one needed to be in the house this morning, so we all went outside, with the guineas, until lunch. We actually had a great time, with minimal fighting and/or fussing.

The Stooges eating their 'treat,' white millet, out of one of Evie's toys.

Every time Evie sees this (below), she yells, 'No, guinea, don't eat your feathers!' in a slightly panicked voice. It's just too cute, and I want to eat her every time she says it.

As I wrote this, the kids were having lunch at the bar. Sam asked me if he could be excused, and I told him he could. As he was clearing his place, he dropped his plate, Evie's plate, and a glass cup. Everything broke.

I herded everyone outside for another hour, and pretended that there wasn't a foot-endangering mess all over the floor.

After being outside and playing with the guineas some more, it was my favorite time of the day: Nap Time!!!! Nap Time, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways ... (Nap Time was not so great yesterday, because neither of the kids slept at all.) I sent the kids upstairs to go to the bathroom while I started cleaning up the toe-threatening mess. Then,

EVIE LOCKED HERSELF IN THE BATHROOM. AGAIN.

WHILE THERE WAS STILL NO DOORKNOB ON THE DOOR.

WITH THE SCREWDRIVER I USED TO GET HER OUT INSIDE THE BATHROOM WITH HER.

People, I may go over the deep end if John gets stuck at work very late this evening. Pray I can get some sleep, or something. I'm not even all that tired, I just feel ... I don't know ... I feel weary. Is this normal when I'm pregnant? I don't even remember.

HELP ME!!

I feel like crap. John gave me his stoopid cold, and I would really like to curl up into a little ball and DIE. Because then, I wouldn never have to blow my nose again. As things stand, I think my nose will fall of by the end of the day if nothing changes.

Ok, I'm not really that sick. I do feel like crap, but I'm not able to take anything for my headache, which is making me a tad cranky. But I think I'll live. I'm just extra whiney because John had to work all day yesterday, all day today, and all day tomorrow. Which means I have no help with the kids until around 6 each evening. Heaven forbid I consider the fact that he feels only slightly better than I do, but still has to work at least a 10 hour day. At least I don't have to change out of my pj's and actually be around people that iritate me. Which is most everyone. I'm not a big fan of being around other people.

I made jello yesterday, wild strawberry, and this is what happens when a very clumsy two-year-old eats jello and then puts on a funny hat that's about 2 sizes too small.

This is Sam, trying to show me what the feathers look like on the crested guinea. We had a long lesson about different types of domestic birds the other afternoon.

Ok, here's a huge pet peeve of mine: I go and actually buy a cd, which I do about 3 times a year, and some of the songe are amazing and fantastic, but then some of the songs make me feel like my brain is going to explode from the bad-ness. This happened with the last cd I bought, one by Jamie Cullum. He's a great musician, has a great voice, but some of the songs make me think, 'WHY?? Why would you do that? You seem like a relatively intelligent chap, so what are you doing??' Anyway, he's got one song where he describes going back through old pictures, and at one point has the lyrics 'when I look back at my ordinary, ordinary life I see so much magic, though I missed it at the time.' I LOVE that!

And now, for something completely different: a man with three buttocks.

On that note, I'm going to order a bunch of herbs, cause I'm running low. Got lots of care packages coming up in the future, and I'm going to have them ready early, for once ...

the house of ill ... people

You thought I was going to say 'the house of ill repute.' Get your mind out of the gutter.

Someone help me! It's bad enough when you have a little one who isn't feeling well, but when it's your husband ... Oy! John is really under the weather. He's actually considering calling in to work today. If you don't know how big of a deal that is, let me explain. John and I have been married 4 years, together for over 5, so we've probably known each other for about 6 years (wow! has it been that long?!?). In 6 years, he's called in sick once. Once, people! He's in bed, sniffling and coughing, and trying to sleep. I made him some hot tea earlier, with lemon and honey, so that should help his throat a little, and help him get some sleep. That failing, I'm also getting some Thera Flu at the store in a little while. Please pray for him!

Speaking of Evie, which we weren't, she's the little one who is under the weather. Luckily, she's not nearly as bad off as the husband. But she does have big, sad red eyes, and a runny nose, which she is constantly trying to wipe on my leg or shoulder, whichever she may be closer to at the moment. (I am actually a little concerned that the nose wiping doesn't even phase me. I am such a MOM now.) She has been a little off this morning, which has been just way too amusing for me. When she got up, she asked for tea, which I was more than happy to get her. The catch? She wanted to lay down in the kitchen. After pondering this dilema for a whopping 4.82 seconds, I consented. I got our big old comforter, folded it over, tossed a pillow down, and viola! instant bed-in-the-kitchen. She stayed there for about 45 minutes.

A few minutes ago, she picked up a green wooden ball that goes with one of her toys and said, 'Oh, there's my phone!' put it up to her ear, and started talking to someone. I'm not sure who she was talking to, I think maybe my mother?

We have a huge book called the Encylopedia of North American Birds; a large hardback number with a milliondy pictures that weighs about 65 pounds. Both kids love looking at it, especially finding the birds we have in this area. Evie was trying to find the owls earlier, and becoming very frustrated when she wasn't able to find any of them. She picked the book up to bring it to me, so we could find the owls, but she kept leaning over to one side, and stumbling like a drunk, because of the weight of the book. I tried not to laugh at her, but I was just about rolling on the floor by the time she got to me.

The weather ws so great yesterday tha we were able to take the guineas, Larry, Curly, and Moe, outside for several hours. They were just about the funniest things I've ever seen, and they immediately ate about 100 cutter ants. This is me with Larry, the trouble maker of the group.



So, that's our life as of this morning. More pics of the kids this afternoon, or maybe tomorrow.

the ongoing battle for world domination

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the battle of the hormones!!

In this corner, we have the underdog, logic. logic tries to see things through other people's eyes, think through all the consequences of words and actions, and behave rationally and somewhat unemotionally.

And in this corner, we have mood swing! mood swing loves to make rash decisions, thinks only of herself, does not think or plan ahead, and is an emotional nut job, plus a little crazy thrown in for good measure.

Ok, so here's a prime example of how a pregnant woman's mood swings can work. Yesterday evening, I asked John to clean the guinea cage, because I was feeling about as great as a monkey ass looks, but he politely declined my offer. (read 'What, are you nuts? They're not my guineas!') I didn't get much sleep last night, so I was a tad cranky this morning. I noticed that John had left his rinsed cereal bowl in the sink instead of putting it in the dishwasher.

Enter the beginnings of a conspiracy theory, or How John Is Out To Destroy Brea's Life.

Earlier in the week, I meant to ask John if we could keep one of the trash cans near were we park the cars, so if I have any trash in my car, I can just toss before I go in the house. (If I don't do it right away, it's not going ot happen.) But I forgot to ask him. When we got in the car for Bible study, I saw a granola bar wrapper on the seat beside me. It was mine, from yesterday, but somehow, that all translated into how unattentive John is, and how he should have known that I wanted a trash can there, and then I started thinking about how much I hate it when he eats in my car, because he sticks french fries in the air conditioning vent to cool them, and one time a fry slid back into the vent, and my car smelled like stale Whataburger for weeks, and how he also doesn't throw away the newspaper when he reads it in my car ... By the time I drove by Chilis on my way into Austin, I was seriously about to pull in and tell him off!

Enter logic.

I realized I needed to cool down, because I like it when John likes me, and if I unloaded all the above-mentioned crazy on him, it would probably start us on the road to Where John No Longer Likes Brea Becaue She Is Pregnant And Crazy And Has mood swings. logic was telling me that I do, in fact, have a Most Wonderful Husband. He is not out to get me, and it is even possible that I overreacted just a tad to the cereal bowl thing. (I mean, after all, mine is still sitting on the table.) He cannot read my mind about the trash can, seeing how I never even mentioned it to him, and he hasn't done that french fry thing in a really long time. And if he doesn't ever throw the newspaper from my car away, not a single time, that's ok. There are worse things in life. He loves me, and he thinks I'm cute, and he's crazy about the kids, and he is really, really good in bed. I can live with the rest, because I'm so crazy-go-nuts about him, too.

It seems like logic has won out today. Let's hope it keeps on winnin'.

Oh, and we went to see the ever-wonderful, ever-fabulous, ever-cool grandmother today. That's right, NANNY!!!! Nanny happens to be the best-est grandmother of all time, and she sends really funny birthday cards, too. And she's got great feet, and always looks like she has had a pedicure. I aspire to be like her. She rocks.