Questions That No One Asked

I'm stealing stuff from Ryan again, because I am totally unable to have an original thought this morning. David and Sam have both developed horrible coughs with this cold dry air that came in over the weekend, I have a puppy that thinks it's fun to cry 37 times each night and wake me up, and I'm too stupid to go to bed at a reasonable hour, even though I know I wake up at 5:30 every morning.

So. Here are some questions that no one has recently asked me. And maybe a few that they have.

What bugs you, Brea?
I'm glad you asked. Lots of things bug me. But I hate it when toothpaste is in the sink after the kids brush their teeth. (Brea shudders.) It makes me twitchy.

What else?
I use a brush, not a sponge, to wash my dishes. It bugs me when John puts it back in the sink, instead of where it goes, and grease gets on the brush. If grease is on a pan, I can wash it off. How can I clean off the grease on the handle of the brush????? Ewwwww!!!!

Are you pregnant, Brea?
No. No. And once again, in case you were wondering, no. Not that I would mind being pregnant. But I've been asked 5 times in the last two weeks. And I haven't gained any weight. It's all very confusing.

Hey, Brea, if you could visit anywhere in the world, where would you go?
First, I would go to Ohio. And see what's-her-name up there. Then Spain. And John and I were just talking about what we would do if he ever changes jobs. He would set it up where he had 6 weeks in between the old job and the new, and we would spend a month (in the summer, of course) taking a road trip and camping in the Northwest. Oregon, Washington, maybe Idaho and Montana, too. And I might visit Jessica in the right season, and take home some of her pears.

Do you make your own bread and live in the country and homeschool because you're some kind of religious kook?
Ok I've had this question asked before. In those exact words. And here's how I answered at the time: Uh, define 'kook.' :) I make my own bread because I like it. I think it's the best bread I've ever tasted. The first time I made it after I got the new oven, we ate three loaves in 6 hours, and I'm not exaggerating. I live in the country for many reasons. The taxes are lower. More bang for my buck. I like to go outside and hear silence in the morning, and see the stars at night. There are no deed restrictions out here, which has ups and downs. I can do whatever I want to my land ... but so can the people who live up the street, breed hateful dogs, and have 9 cars in their front yard. And I don't homeschool so my kids will do better on the SAT, or so they won't be influenced by those evil public school people, or to protect them from all the big bads that are in the world. I teach my children to read so they can read God's Word. I teach them math because Jesus made numbers, so Jesus' two plus Jesus' two equals Jesus' four. I teach my kids about nature because In The Beginning, the Trinity dictated the creation of the world. We raise chickens because the Word tells us to exercise dominion, but it also tells us to be good stewards. (You know, the Jews were the first ones to have animal rights laws. take that, PETA!)

I homeschool my kids so that they may better know God.

You are a religious kook, aren't you?
Yeah probably, and I'm ok with that. I'm supposed to be in this world, not of it.

How many kids do you eventually want?
At least 6. I'd really love 10 or 12. But please don't tell my mother. She'll pass out and hit her head.

Which of your children is your favorite?
Well, Sam, of course. Also, Evelyn. And obviously, David.

What's with your obsession with mornings?
I dunno. They're just awesome. And clean, and new. Joy comes in the morning, ya know.

What's the deal with Texas?
If you have to ask, you'll never get it.

If you had to pick one best friend, who would it be?
Sarah. And Kristie. Margaret. And Becky. Totally my mom. Jessica is my best interweb peep.

If you could have any job besides the one you have, Brea, what would it be?
I think I would want to be a missionary. Or a midwife or a nurse. Oh! I know! I'd be a nurse-midwife missionary in some third world country.

What's your favorite color?
Purple.

What is your favorite thing that you own?
My boots. I wear them every. single. day. and freak out when I see the puppy anywhere near them.

What's your least favorite thing?
Grape flavoring. Grape gum, grape candy, grape medicine ... Uuuugggggg!! What's up with that?

Brea, what are your true thoughts on President-Elect Obama?
I pray that he is an excellent president. Our family prays for him daily. And I don't envy the position that he's in, or his job. At all. Stop assuming that just because I didn't vote for him, that I won't support him or that I hope he falls on his face. I hope he's a great president.

Do you have a favorite book?
No. Well, yes. My Bible. But after that, I can't pick just one. If I absolutely had to, it would probably be The Count of Monte Cristo. But I can't pick.

What was the best Christmas gift you received, Brea?
My new Swiss Army knife. I need to make sure I take it out of my purse before I go to Ohio, because I'm totally the kind of person who would forget and end up on some terror watch list because I'd pitch a fit when they tried to take it from me.

What was the best Christmas gift you gave?
I don't know. I had a lot of fun shopping this year. I found a great pair of handmade knitting needles for my midwife, but I haven't seen her yet. And I got my brother a cool book, The Complete Manual of Things That Might Kill You. I wanted to keep it for myself. But didn't.

Are you still talking?
Yeah, but I'm just about done. My coffee is cold and running low. And you know how much I love my coffee!! Just one more ...

What's a question that no one asks you, but you want to answer?