Analyze This!!

Seriously, help me analyze this dream. It happened last night, and I woke up in the best mood.

American Idol is holding audition in Austin. For some inexplicable reason, I decide to go and try out. I get past the screeners, which usually means one is fairly decent or fairly horrible. I worry I'm in the latter group, but seeing how this is a dream, I decide to proceed to the judges. I'm a little nervous at this point. I go in the room. (Ryan Seacrest flirted with me, by the way, and asked for my number when we were off camera. Trust me, it gets much more strange!!I don't even like Ryan Seacrest!!!!!) Apparently, I sing well enough to get the 'You're going to Hollywood!' from all three judges. Randy calls me 'dawg.' Paula babbles about rainbows and puppies. (Totally not kidding.) Simon is nice to me, and tells me he liked my elbows. (Elbows? Really? What was I dream-wearing that accentuated my elbows so nicely? I guess I'll never know.)

So off I go to Hollywood. I take David with me. (?) I don't remember again what I sang for the second round, but it was my last song. I don't make it any further. But here's the strangest part: Simon is nice to me. Again. What in the world??? He lets me down very sweetly, and tells me to call him if I ever need anything. HUH??

Please let me explain at this point that I don't even like American Idol. I think it's stupid. It comes on before 9pm, so even if I did like it, I can't watch it. I have no few aspirations of fame or glory, and no delusions about my voice. I'm a decent singer, no more, no less. So why in the world would I have a dream like this??

I tried to tell John about it, thinking he might find it puzzling or interesting as I have, but he was no help. He just rolled over, squinted, looked me up and down, and said, 'Well, you must be feeling better. How much coffee have you had this morning? Why are you talking so fast? Why did you wake me up?' I punched him, and then he grabbed my arms to make the beating stop, and then, since the kids weren't up yet ...

Well, that next part isn't any of your business. (No, you may not lecture me for writing that last part. How do you think I ended up with three kids before I turned 24?? I'm just sayin'.)

So all in all, it's been a great morning. I've been up for 4 hours, and I'm in a wonderful mood. Here's hoping the day continues in this vein!!